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Hurt from betrayal - Part 3: Healing from betrayal


People betraying your trust in a social norms situation, such as the shopkeeper or cab driver, can, in other words, relatively easily rectify the situation. In the personal domain, emotions are much sharper and harder to relieve. Even if the relationship isn’t a romantic one, betrayal by someone who knows you well implies that this person doesn’t value your relationship. There may be many good reasons to be upset at a person close to you who violates your trust. However, it is this sense that you’re not valued that may be at the heart of your emotional reaction. Betrayal by people you care about hurts because it destroys your self-esteem. The absence of trust creates anxiety and depression as well as deep loneliness as you may now feel you cannot confide or rely on anyone again.


The initial shock from the discovery of betrayal will eventually bring about much anger and hurt. As time goes by, acceptance will set in like the saying goes, Time will eventually heal. During the time of getting over this pain, it may require readjusting your values, redefining the way you view them or find positive learning from these events, so that you can eventually grow in wisdom and in life.


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